Coyote Stupid

Coyote Stupid season is here.

I don't mind hunters who obey the laws, hunt in season with permission. I can't tolerate trespassers and slob hunters on my property. Coyotes are hunted almost all year long as a pest, but the fall brings out the coyote "experts" the Coyote Stupids.

Out of town people who just run their radio dogs and kill anything their dogs flush out of my forest and pasture.

I really dislike a herd of 20 crazy hounds with radio collars blasting through my woods at 5am, scaring my livestock and breaking the silence of a fall morning with howls. I drive out to "hunters" nestled in their warm truck cabs and ask them "who's land do they think they are on and who gave them permission to run their dogs on said land?"

I get some mumbled names of dead people or names from the Civil War. They gripe and deny these dogs are their dogs as the panting dogs hop into their warm truck cabs. They then threaten me if I stop them from getting their dogs off of my property. The dogs they just said they do not own. They said they have the law on their side and there is nothing I can do about it. Ah, making friends is not a past time of the Coyote Stupids.

The "coyote hunters" then round up the rest of their "out of town" canines and posse and drive away to torment some other farmer or land owner farther down the lane. Meanwhile, trash (beer) is left behind, fences are cut, hungry lost hounds come to my house and livestock is missing. My morning has gone from a coffee break to D-day. I have fences to fix, trash to pick up and livestock to find. I am glad I did not wear my antler hat and coyote tail jeans this morning.

I think they would not like it if I ran my livestock across their porch at 5am and shot at anything that my animals flush out from my car while I drank my Starbucks and threw it out my car window. And then threaten them if I can't get my animals off their porch. Since it is legal to hunt coyote in Missouri after all. Even porch coyotes. Yes, it is the Coyote Stupid way.