The Debt not Owed

Finally found an article about what I am going through as an adult. I never understood why my family life was so different from everyone else. The constant moving, no one allowed to visit the house, strict rules, the long silences, the black moods, the constant feeling of insecurity no money no food, the feeling of not being wanted. Turns out my parents are not the best people in the world. I broke ties with them 4 years ago after I visited them at their request. My dad was sick and my mother asked me to fly up to be with him. I had no idea I would be hit, yelled at, threatened, lied to, held against my will. It was my childhood all over again, yet I was an adult married woman, their only daughter. But I called my husband, he got me a flight home and I never went back. Now I have been contacted by a medical equipment company to inform me of delivery to my dads house, even though I live 6 states away. I know this is a cry for attention as this is what narcissist do. But I have to leave them alone. I will not be treated like that by anyone. They are my parents but they are not nice people to me.

It is sad but it is a repeat of what they did to their own parents, my grandparents. They broke ties from their folks, took off, tore me away from my grandparents, uncles and cousins. I never knew when my grandparents died. They did not attend to their own parents illness, death and funeral. And they have punished me as they have themselves. 

It is a sad and hurtful lonely way to come to their end of the road. 

But I know what a good life can be now. I have been joined with other families and friends who know my story. When life ends surrounded by loved ones it is a beautiful thing. God gives us the gift of life here on earth. He asks we love our fellow man and love Him as he love us. It is not an easy job but a beautiful way to say thank you.

Illustration by Charlie Powell